Bulletproof Fabulous
Queer feminist BatB fanatic who loves all the women, especially the ones you hate.
Pronouns: sie/hir
Pronouns: sie/hir
First non-medical transgender journal launches
Transgender Studies Quarterly, published by Duke UniversityPress, pledges to ‘change the way the…
Being Genderqueer.
Being genderqueer means that I identify as neither male nor female, regardless of how I represent or whether M or F is on my birth certificate.
I was born with two X chromosomes. I have more estrogen in my body than I do testosterone. I have enough fat deposits on my chest that I have to spend way too much money on a supportive bra or be really uncomfortable when I bind.
But I am not female.
My hair and nails are short. I only wear clothing made and marketed to/for the male gender. I go by male pronouns.
But I am not a male.
I love the color pink. I enjoy accessorizing. I lift weights. I curse like a sailor. I am loud and opinionated at times. I am a feminist. I have tattoos and body piercings and a chip on my shoulder. I have a temper. I like to write and cook, shop and swim. I hope to enlist in the Army.
None of these things make me male or female; I am neither.
Being genderqueer means that if you see me out in public and read me as male, you will be wrong. If you see me out in public and read me as female, you will be wrong. Being genderqueer means that I don’t fit the norms society would like me to fall into. It means that I will be outcast by so many of my peers and that most won’t understand me. It means that finding someone who respects me without having to label me won’t happen often. It means that when someone asks a females opinion on something, they don’t want my answer. It means that when someone asks a males opinion on something, they don’t want my answer. Being genderqueer means that when someone asks me my sexual orientation and I say that I like women, they ask why I don’t just say I’m a lesbian and ‘keep it simple’.
Being genderqueer is anything but simple.
Being genderqueer means that some days I will battle dysphoria and other days I will love my feminine curves. It means that sometimes when you forget to call me by male pronouns, it won’t bother me; and yet other days it will really get under my skin. Being genderqueer means that people will always try to label me and question why I don’t label myself.
Being genderqueer is not a label any more than ‘male’ or ‘female’ is a label.
Genderqueer and proud.
This is still a work in progress.
in here: privacyp0licy: Trans 101 for Trans Peopletranwrecks: A Trans 101 For…
A Trans 101 For Trans People
- You are human. You are worthy of respect. You deserve to be treated with the same dignity as anyone else. There is nothing inherently wrong with your gender. You are not broken, you are not disgusting, you do not deserve to be hurt.
- You’ve been brought up and live in a world that’s designed to erase and demonize your existence, you’ve probably internalized a lot of that- and that’s not your fault. But it can be hard to deal with. But you aren’t alone in dealing with it. And sometimes you have to buy into it to be able to handle it (trigger warning: transphobic violence). And that’s okay.
- Your gender is no more or less than anyone else’s. Your history doesn’t make you “not really” or “less” your gender than someone with a cis history, it just makes you a person of your gender with a different history.
- You do not deserve to be held to higher standards than cis people. You do not have to “prove” your gender by forcing yourself into societal roles that may not fit. You are not “failing” anyone by fitting into societal roles that are comfortable. It is not your job to break down the binary/patriarchy/or anything else. If you want to, go for it, but you have no obligation to do anything for cis people just because you are trans.
- Being yourself does not hurt trans rights (so long as you aren’t trying to do so while stopping others from being who they are) and is not a reason why people don’t have to treat you with respect. There is nothing wrong with being a feminine man or masculine woman, or being a person who’s comfortable in their body, or being a person who doesn’t transition all the way, or being out about having a non-binary or genderqueer gender. You have not “failed” anyone by doing this, you are not “less” of your gender than someone else. Being who you are is not a valid argument for why people can’t treat you as who you truly are.
- No one else has the right to say your body needs to be changed. It only does if you need to change it. Or if you want to change it, that’s valid, too. Your body does not make you “less” your gender. It doesn’t make you “not really” your gender. It doesn’t mean you’re trapped in someone else’s body. You do not have to fix your body to “become” your gender- you already are your gender. All you need to do is what you need to do to be comfortable in your body. And if that includes reclaiming your right to label your own body, you are allowed to do that.
- You have just as much of a right to privacy as anyone else. You do not need to tell anyone about your body, your medical history, or anything else. Whether or not your body needs to be changed for you to be comfortable, you do not have to change it to deserve to be treated as who you are. You do not owe anyone intimate details about your personal life before you can be treated as who you are.
- You have no obligation to educate anyone. This includes trans people, but is most important with cis people. You are not a walking encyclopedia of transgender and/or transsexual information, you are a person. You do not have to answer every question any cis person comes up with, you do not have to represent trans people as a whole, (see 7) you do not have to bare the most personal and vulnerable parts of your soul to other people on demand.
- Not educating people does not “hurt” trans rights. NEVER let anyone try to guilt you into educating people or doing something you don’t want to do by insisting that doing otherwise will “destroy trans rights/acceptance/whatever”. Trying to force trans people to become walking information desks or to put themselves in dangerous situations regardless of whether or not you’re even up for dealing with this destroys trans rights and shows a great deal of intolerance. Asserting that you don’t have to tell anyone anything you don’t want to? That really doesn’t.
- If you do want to educate people, you are allowed to set limits and boundaries. You are allowed to say that you won’t talk about certain issues, or that you will only talk about them on your terms. You are allowed to decide which people you will talk to about which issues. You are allowed to change these boundaries if you become uncomfortable educating people you were previously willing to educate. You are not obligated to educate anyone just because you educated someone else.
- You deserve to take care of yourself- whatever that means. You deserve to be comfortable and safe. You deserve not to be in dangerous situations. If you can’t handle something alone, you deserve to ask for- and get- help or, if you can, take a break from it until you can handle it. Or just stop doing it all together, that’s okay. Taking care of yourself does not make you weak, it does not make you an attention-grabber or overdramatic, it does not make you “less” your gender, it does not mean you betray other trans people by not being a full-time (or even part-time) activist. You’re human, you have limits, and that’s okay.
- You deserve to have your boundaries respected. Any boundaries- how and where people can touch you, what information you give to who and when, what places you feel comfortable going or who you feel comfortable going with, what people can tell others about you.
- You deserve to have the words you are and aren’t comfortable being referred to as respected. You deserve to have the proper pronouns used (and, if there are times when it’s unsafe for that to happen, you deserve to have your safety maintained by those around you), you deserve to be called the proper name, you deserve to have the words you want used to describe your body used, you deserve not to be called by any label, pronoun, word, or name that you don’t want to be called.
- If you’re asking for something that you need to feel respected, comfortable, and safe- you are not asking for too much. Your identity is not “too complicated”. Your needs are not less important than anyone elses’.
- You are human. You are worthy of respect. You deserve to be treated with the same dignity as anyone else. There is nothing inherently wrong with your gender. You are not broken, you are not disgusting, you do not deserve to be hurt.
Having one of those weird, rare, actually-feeling-okay-about-my-tits day.
I mean 90% of the time they need to go away, but sometimes they’re all right. Really wish I could be honest about this fact to therapists who I’m trying to sell on the gender stuff.
What I’m saying is gender dysphoria sucks and being genderqueer is frustrating and the medical establishment is crap for making a lot of us lie if we want a shot at treatment.
David, I AM: Trans People Speak. A Methodist clergy member, husband, father, musician, and trans man tells his story.
I don’t give a shit why I’m trans or the biological and phycological theories about it.
Hell, even if am just doing this for no more reason than it feels good, it is still a perfectly valid way to live my life and I still deserve respect.
I have recently been hearing about multiple instances of trans men and occasionally others condemning certain women’s spaces — spaces that include and are co-organized by trans women — as transphobic and even campaigning against them because they don’t include trans men. What the fuck, guys?
It seems like most women’s spaces are falling into two categories these days. They are either conservative anti-trans spaces that actively exclude all trans people, or they are progressive trans-positive spaces that decide that the most progressive thing they could do would be to dismantle themselves as women-only and become gender neutral. With either option, trans women are denied access to women only space. Now it appears the few women-only spaces that are actively *inclusive* of trans women are facing pressure to become gender neutral.
As a trans woman raised in feminist community, I know the value that women-only spaces can hold. Growing up in such close proximity to women-only spaces without having the same kind of access gave me a special appreciation for the power they have to create community, heal misogyny’s wounds, and further female empowerment — all things trans women are often in desperate need of.
I mean, we can all hang out in our all-genders spaces. I’ll volunteer to keep them going, my partner can bring a batch of hir awesome cupcakes. But whether we are talking about a dyke march, a women’s conference, or localized feminist organizing, exerting external force to dismantle or destroy women’s spaces is never anything but misogynistic. And taking away an important resource from trans women is the truly transphobic act in this situation.
…this can’t be repeated enough.
“With either option, trans women are denied access to women only space.”
As a trans woman, not many things give me a headache the way the entire concept of passing does. Passing is the idea that if a trans woman (or any person who is presenting as a woman) looks, dresses and acts a certain way, people won’t be able to tell they are anything other than a completely “normal” woman. If you look at online trans communities or forums, you’ll find tons of tips on how to pass better – everything from hair removal tips to workouts to how to walk and sit more femininely.
All of this presupposes that there is only one right way to look like and be a woman. And it’s infuriating. On the one hand, whenever I go out in public or post pictures online, a part of me is deathly afraid that I’ll be insulted or worse. I desperately want to be accepted as the woman I am. On the other hand, I hate that in order to feel safe, I’m expected to fit into the very narrow box that is labeled “woman.” Tips on how to pass always seem to say that you should avoid building muscle mass and avoid wearing clothes and makeup that are too costumey, that you should try to hide your shoulders and soften your features. Trans women are often told that if we want to pass, we have to try our hardest to be petite, soft, have just the right amount of femininity, and not stand out too much. But what if I want to be a different kind of woman? What if I want to look like Grace Jones or Kate Moennig? What if I want to look like Beth Ditto or Dolly Parton? They’re all cis women; don’t they pass?
Meyllen Djneres (via muffinsandcouture)
The moral of “passing” discussions always seems to be:
If you get bashed it will be your fault.
(via charthebutcher)
Do you even know how badly I’ve been needing to hear exactly these words for the past few months now?
(via sixtyforty)
*slow clap——> standing ovation* yes! Yes yes!
(via boyqueen)
