All day, errday.
“Access Sex”, photos of Kayla Harris by Sarah Murray (more at content source)
The project Access Sex is necessary to not only make people aware of the fact that people with disabilities are seen as asexual beings but to also highlight the origins of their thoughts on disabilities and sexuality. With a range of images the connection between disabilities and sexuality at times is merely a suggestion to ease people into something they may have never consciously thought about.
Ultimately the answer to the question is yes, I can have sex. Want to see some photos that might answer other questions? – Kyla Harris
Few men can deny the fact that having someone else’s hands around your genitals can be a vulnerable position. Of course, it isn’t always intended that way (unless you’re me, in which case it probably is) but our culture is saturated with images and stories of men’s genitals being vulnerable in the hands of women. It’s even in our slang: “She has got me by the balls” means that I am well and truly dominated by her control of the situation. I’m not sure why this is supposed to be a bad thing (</sarcasm>), but it is.
Contrast this with any imagery of blowjobs displayed by popular culture and the exact reverse is true. For some reason, people seem to think that putting your penis in someone else’s mouth gives you some kind of control over the situation and makes the person whose mouth is around your genitals submissive. This has always been somewhat baffling to me, because it is far easier to hurt my penis with your teeth than it is to hurt it with your hands.
(yeah there’s cissexism here but still a good read)
Guilty people are easy to control. And sexuality is an easy way to make people constantly feel guilty and needy. And I’m afraid to say that the church has often used that to enhance its own power and control over people.
Look: what your nerves do has absolutely no relation to what your sexual orientation is. It is not like gay and bi men have magic wiring that makes anal sex pleasurable for them and not for straight men. Cis dudes all have the same bits! There was a similar fight back in the days of the Lesbian Sex Wars, when a bunch of people decided that lesbians shouldn’t penetrate each other because it’s phallocentric and male-defined sex. (Even though lesbians can have penises, but as a rule those people didn’t like trans people very much either.) But the thing is that you can be a totally liberated woman-identified woman and still enjoy having something inside your vagina when you’re horny. Just like you can be the straightest straight dude that ever straighted and still want to have something in your ass when you’re turned on.
George R.R. Martin on sex versus violence
I don’t read GRRM, but this just reminds me of the kerfuffle that happened in my high school when a group just AFFILIATED with the school (complicated) put on Spring Awakening (basically, teenagers have sex and are given no info by their elders about said, so bad things happen), the year after putting on The Laramie Project (about the aftermath of the murder of Matthew Shepard). There were a few letters to the editor about Laramie and one not-so-serious threat, but other than that it was really well received Spring Awakening? The community EXPLODED. We had to MOVE VENUES, change the dates, and recast because parents pulled their kids out based on things they’d just HEARD, not even having read the script.
As our director summed up one evening when he was very frustrated, ‘we can kill a queer, but GOD FORBID we talk about sex’
So yeah, basically, this is too spot on even today.
“We still judge ourselves on sex, and we add so much meaning to it, as we add so much meaning to everything in our lives. Sex can be just fun! It can just be fun! It can just be FUN! No one ever says, ‘Oh, you’re playing all that tennis, but where’s it leading?’ ‘Did you enjoy your tennis game?’ ‘Oh, it was just meaningless, wasn’t it…’”
and this is why slut shaming is really really silly